(Slams the door)
Husband: “I WANT MORE BEER, argh!”
(Looking shocked)
Wife: “ Oh my god, where did you go, your body is fill with the smell of alcohol. Did you go drinking again?”
(Points at his wife)
Husband: “ Shut up and stop asking questions, I JUST WANT BEER!”
(Holds tightly onto the beer)
Wife: “You are not getting your beer, you didn’t even bother to tell me that you go drinking and I have been waiting for you since 7pm until now its already 2am in the morning.”
Husband: “Give it to me NOW, who cares about the dinner anyway!”
Wife: “NO, I’ not giving it to you.”
(Slaps her, and grab the beer can from her hand)
Husband: “That’s it, enough now get lost and stay out of my way!”
(Block the door)
Wife: “I’m not staying out of the way, you’re my husband I have the right to stop you. Please stop drinking, what happened to you, the amount of time you spend with your friends is more than with us. At least spare a thought for your kids.”
(Push wife away)
Husband: I don’t give a damn about this family, I had enough of you trying to infer into my private life, I’m going out now to meet my friends and don’t try to stop me.
(Lying on the floor) (Sobbing)
Wife: If you step a single foot out of the door, then this will be the end to our marriage, you’ve changed, I’ve prepared dinner for you and that’s fine it you don’t appreciate it. It’s your choice.”
(Slams the door)
Husband: All right, as you wish. Divorce would be my choice, now I’m off. Good bye and get out of my sight!”
(Crying)
Wife: “Sigh, after so many years of marriage, just because of this one night and tonight’s dinner is ruined, just like our marriage.”
I was not able to access your dialogue because it was marked private. I graded the assignment based on what I read here.
This writing tries too hard. There’s no element of subtlety, and you build a situation that’s quite unlikely. Why would the husband go home if he doesn’t want to be there? If I force you to use a particular location, you need to motivate your characters so it would make sense they’re in that place. This one just comes across as excessive.