Buckle up, fasten the seat belt and hold on tight.

What is going to happen within 2 weeks from now is going to been as hectic as it can be.

3 years all boils down to the same objective

What all our sweat, money and effort lies in

Some might struggles, while others will thrive

When you feel like giving up, you notice everyone else is fighting hard

Even if everything goes wrong

We still manage to pull through

Be it tough

We will go through all odds and come out as winners

There will be no losers, only winners.

I got a feeling

This day finally is near and we are going to kick ass

I’m ready to go

Let’s rock this project!

Bring it on, I love challenges and I strive under pressure and stress

It will only fuel my hunger and make me stronger

Here I come IBP!

I believe when ever there is a problem, common understanding is important and patience too plays a part. I’m just happy that everything turned out well as we had a heart warming talk about problems and things that are trapped inside our heart for a long long time. It always feels good to let it all out to someone who is hearing you. I  just hope that everything will be fine and over, in a month’s time production will begin and in around 3 months time our final product will be unleashed. I’m looking forward to this day where I can finally say I’ve graduated and all the 3 years  and the time I spent is worth while.

Sometimes in life, we learn as we go along, be it happiness or sadness, we will definitely experience  both. It’s at certain points of  our life that we feel down and depress, we start hating things that are happening. But have we realize that what doesn’t kills us makes us only stronger. Why do we fall, so that we can learn to pick ourselves up. There is no “I” in a team, that’s why it is always easier to break a chopstick compared to a bundle of chopsticks. That what makes a group stronger, your teammates.

Over the years, I’ve learn to trust my group mates, team mates and make sacrifices for the better of the team. Cause you have to know that they will be the last to let you down. As the going gets tough, the tough gets going. Challenges and obstacles are always placed around us, how we choose to overcome them or back down will only determines one will and mental strength.

Nevertheless, I’m glad all these are finally put behind our minds and we can start concentrating on important stuffs.

I’m sorry for the misunderstanding back at that time, accusing you wrongly.

We should not be living in regrets, cause then we will only be wasting our lives away. Be happy with what you have, if you look around there are people that is less fortunate than us. Everything happens for a reason, we are here to live and stay for a long long time in this world and lets just make full use of our remaining time left to enjoy all these moments before we graduate. We will never know what is installs for us in the future, so we should cherish every moment we have right now, our friends and families are people we can rely on and all the times spend will be memories that we will carry along as we grow older. I guess that’s how the world “Generations” came about.

Cheers!

I’ve learn a lot in the past 21 years of my life and today is a one of those days where I sit and reflect about things that really bothers me and are disturbing. Received a call from my Dad, he told me that the agent is coming down today to settle some paperwork for the new car and I have to go to his office to meet him as the agent needs to view the current car too. And today was the first time I visited my Dad’s office, how surprising and I got a shock the how spacious and big his office was. Nevertheless, see my Dad signing so many papers and I knew he was partly happy and sad because he had to pay $10,000 dollars for the deposit and there’s more to come. Buying a car in Singapore is really a waste of money because the moment you drive the car out, the value drops. I guess this will probably be the last car that my Dad is buying and he can retire happily. I realize that my parents really cares about me and they dote me a lot. But I never seem to realised it, my overseas trip, education, getting a new car all these requires money and they really wouldn’t mind investing it on me, I’m really totally different from my brother, who spends wisely on items that are really worth the money. I guess that’s why my parents don’t even hesitate to send him overseas to study and now his future looks very promising till my parents considering moving over to Aussie to live with him as he is going to work there once he graduate.

Sometimes, when everything just falls apart, you family will always be with you. Without them, we are nothing. They taught us how to walk, read,  write and be a better person in the future. But eventually what they really want is someone who can take care of them when they are old. Thinking about the past on how forgiving and encouraging they are to me and my brother really makes me want to prove to them that when they are old, they can rest and travel all their lives and leave it to me to take care of them. Every time I see on TV or streets about people suffering really makes me cherish everything I have and I got nothing more to ask for. No matter what happens in the future, I’ll always stand by their side and protect them till my last breath. If they can sacrifice for me, I don’t see why I can’t.

Thanks Dad for getting the car and Mum for being so concerned about me and asking my opinions on the car and how I’m doing. I know deep down you all care for me. Pardon me for not spending enough time with you all and I’m proud to be your son.

=)

I guess life is made up of various factors that contributes to what we have and don’t have now. Everything has a reason behind it, whether you like it or not. You just got to accept the fact that it is there for a reason, some of us called it fate while others say is our own destiny and we control it with our hands. But have you ever wonder that sometimes, its both that plays a part in life. No one is born clever, stupid, rich. It all started from zero and how we slowly build it up to where we are right now, some are successful while others are rather unfortunate. Yes we can argue that the world is never fair, cause we can’t always get what we want. That’s why it’s called a goal/dreams that we have to achieved it ourselves, how long can our parents be there to support us, they worked their entire life to raise us up and I believe when they retire they have their rights to enjoy and us to take care of them.

Seeing my friends entering army one by one makes me wonder my turn is soon and what am I going to do when I graduate. I’ve heard many stories about the industries and how it’s going. Will it really be sufficient enough for me? I doubt so. At least now my brother is doing well and I believe he will be very successful in life and my parents will be proud of him, come to think about me, I’m still a long way to do compared to him. Perhaps when I entered army that two years will allow me to be more clear of what I want in the future. And no matter what lies ahead of me, I’m ready and up for the challenge.

Come to think of it, time really flies. Went for Location Reece for the past few days and certain locations that we went were places that I was at during year 1 and 2. Re-visiting the location now at year 3 doing my final film really makes me go wow that it’s already my last semester and within 4 months time, I will be graduating. Time waits for no one, every time you take a break or slows down. Someone else out there is working hard and catching up. We have to be constantly on the move and before you know it, everything just went pass in a flash and it’s another year gone.  Maybe after all these, I will sit down and think about life and what I want before entering army. Till then, it will be another chapter of my life.

School’s been really busy ever since it started and I hardly had time for friends, family, trainings and of course you. But I hope people will understand that everything we are doing there’s a reason behind it. And at the end of the day, the final product will reflect all those hard work and effort we gave. Received an email from SFC about the funding and hopefully 6-8weeks from now, we will received good news from them, this is just another example of life that not everything is under our own control. But at least we gave it all and now it’s up to them.

I’m learning everyday, observing people, looking at my surroundings, seeing my parents coming back from work, listening to my brother’s voice when he calls back home and my cousin getting married soon. If we just pause for a moment and just let everything comes to our mind slowly, you starts to see the wonders of life and how people are doing the same routine over and over again without even realizing it. It’s fascinating isn’t it.

At the end of the day we will always ask this question, why do we exist. Perhaps we will never even know till the day we die.

Learn to cherish every moment you have, be happy with what you got already.

The world will never be perfect neither will it be fair.

We just got to live with it.

This is life.

Tonight is just one of those night when time passed slower than it feels. Like you are about to sleep but you realize you don’t usually go to bed so early.

There are nights when we are on the bus home from somewhere far, and then passing by the same old places, places where we used to feel that we belonged. And it tugs at you inside, half wishing we could go back in time to that specific moment, or just any random times of the many moments there. Could visualized ourself from a third-person POV and maybe we don’t look as good.

Since the journey brings us to places where we used to go to alot, helplessly, all the memories will come back. All the things we have been through, the emotions, the anger, the hatred, the joy, the sadness, it all plays out abstractly inside us, but not feeling any lesser of them. Perhaps the reason why is because we don’t get to do all these anymore. Time doesn’t permits, work doesn’t, people doesn’t (blame them, honestly) and all we can do is to just glance, relive the memories and be satisfied (not).

I guess its because only by doing this, that we actually have a legitimate reason to be there.

At times when we sleep, we laid in the darkness, looking up at the ceilings. Listening to the rain splattering against our windows. Through the curtains, we could see the flashes occasionally lighting up my room for a brief moment, before fading once again into the watery and stormy oblivion.

As we are lying in the darkness, we start thinking about stuffs. Its times like these, when its all quiet and serene, that you start thinking of all these. Pondering and trying to comprehend, wondering if the person you are thinking of is asleep right at that moment, or not. Wondering too, if he/she is thinking of you too. Were they too, not asleep? Then our mind drifted to many things. Thinking about the times in you had, and the times when we were having a little lull here and there. Life changes too fast sometimes for us to appreciate its beauty and the idea it hold for us.

I know there are a lot of things in your head now and you just want to scream. Sometimes I wonder how can people appear like they got no problems and still be happy. It just doesn’t make sense to me.

Rest well dear, I promise you after the two weeks, I’ll bring you out and enjoy all you want. I’m sorry I can’t be there for you tomorrow and I’m sure everything will go smoothly. As I’m typing this post, you’ll probably be sleeping already.

Have a successful surgery tomorrow. I’ll always be there for you.

=)

I need to cut down on my spending already, just send the car for repairs and was told by my dad that it costs around $5,000 dollars, still got set a side $1,000 dollars for my final year project.

Might have to spend another $18,000 dollars just to book the new car, will be going down with my dad again this Sunday to get more details with the agent about the car and the financial stuffs. It’s times like this when you realised that money isn’t easy to earn.

Sigh, costs, costs and more costs.

The standard of living here is really high.

I guess that’s the way it is.

When you walk through a park, when the weather is very cooling and breezy, and the sun rays have been blocked by the extraordinary cloudy skies, you smell the freshly cut grass. You feel the wind whispering into your ears. You feel your eardrums beating. You walk on and on, looking towards into the far left, where the edge goes down into a slope. A slippery slope.

“What time is it?” You wondered to yourself.

It seems like its somewhere four in the afternoon. Maybe you are just off school. Maybe you are on sick leave from work.

Maybe it doesn’t matter.

Its funny, how we spent our entire lives craving for things that never seem to merge well with the landscapes inside our hearts, and the rhythm in our heads. Its like the black forest cake of our lives, where the good things are all jumbled out, and we seek it as a form of perfection.

The moment it hits the right time, you feel all bloated and uncomfortable. Maybe we should all think carefully about the flavour we really want before we purchase a cake next time.

Cakes can be bought with money, but some cakes just can’t be bought with money. And whatever that is needed to buy it, is not easy to get back once you express it away.

Sometimes when it rains and there is lots of negative ions in the air or what, it reminds me of the time where it was cold and chilly everyday, when everyday seem like a perfect time to sit in a cafe with your close friends and not do anything but talk trash. At that time, we were nothing but young minds and hearts, no troubles, only worries. As I grow older, I realized we do take a lot of things for granted, important and essential things like trust, love, friendship and concern. To a certain extent, even respect. But everyday is a new day, and life goes on. What to do?

Gossips are parts and parcels of our modern social lives. Nobody can live without it. When you meet an old friend on the streets and apart from the mandatory how are yous, what else do you engage in? Yes right, gossip. It could be about an old schoolmate, an old rival, or the school’s beauty queen whom you and friends were jealous of back then. When you and friends meet up on a Saturday afternoon at Starbucks or Spinelli, what do you guys engage in apart from the chilling and smoking? Gossip.

So what exactly is gossip, and why does it have such immerse drawing power in the face of social scene? The answer is, we are only humans.

Wikipedia define gossips as: Gossip (also called meddeling) is idle talk or rumour, especially about the personal or private affairs of others. It forms one of the oldest and most common means of sharing (unproven) facts and views, but also has a reputation for the introduction of errors and other variations into the information transmitted. The term also carries implications that the news so transmitted (usually) has a personal or trivial nature, as opposed to normal conversation.

Yes, gossip feels good. We as human beings, cannot live without gossips. It feels good to be kaypo about people’s affair, you and me, like everyone else, is kaypo. It feels good to talk shit about people behind their backs, and getting people to agree with you. It eases your insecurity to know that someone dislike the person you dislike too, so that you know you are not alone. You know you are not wrong in disliking somebody, its like a justification kind of remedy.

But unfortunately, many of us make the mistake of gossiping. Gossip is a kind of mistake, because you do not know the person who gossips with you actually agree or disagree with you. There are people who can “yalor yalor” with you all they want, but deep down, they see you as a gossip monger, and the smart ones, or rather, the more insecure ones will pretend to agree with you so as not to get into your bad books, but they will be wondering within themselves if they are the victim of your words too.

You see, gossip is bad karma.

And also, because when you gossip, you tend to subconsciously add something hurtful or untrue to it, to make it seem like facts, thats called getting personal and its very unhealthy.

But then again, if you really have to gossip, at least gossip about the good things. So that when the person hears it, they feel good about themselves and they will be more positive towards you. Save all the bad things to yourself. If you got nothing good to say, then don’t say anything.

So, cut down on all the gossips wherever you are, and eat more kinder bueno.

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Inglourious Basterds was a great movie and I love Brad Pitt’s accent inside. I can’t help but say soldiers at those times were definitely braver than now, and definitely more well-mannered, or maybe its just the film.

Eli Roth is super funny and cool in the movie. He used a baseball bat to whack the brain out of a Nazi Sergeant literally. He is the director of Hostel and Hostel 2.

I feel very inclined to say that he does resembles Zachary Quinto a lot. The guy who plays Sylar in Heroes. Don’t you think so?

Talking about Heroes, when is the next season coming out?

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Good luck dear, you will pass your TP tomorrow and can start fetching me already. All the lessons you went through for the past few months and the scoldings you got all boils down to one thing, tomorrow your test. The amount of time and money you spend is worth it because you are going to pass and get your license. Believe in yourself and just do what you always do.

It’s just another driving lesson, all you need to do this time is apply what you’ve learn.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Have faith. =)

Came across this group on Facebook regarding some diver who went missing after his last dive, and some of his friends set up the group for people to come together and pray that he will be back. I saw the group earlier today and that he was still missing. I just went back there a few minutes ago and his body have been found.

Even though he isn’t someone I knew personally, but its really very sad to know that a young life is gone just like that. I mean, I can feel the pain, like what if its someone I know? Or a close friend of mine?

And that guy is only 21 years old, my age.

Life is fragile.

I think imperfections are more enchanting than perfections, do you agree? Because I see a spell-binding sense of purpose in life when there are imperfections. Imperfections are a catalyst for better things to come. There’s a reason why a road can change and get renovated many times, but it still gives you the same feeling when you walk along it.

Its like how a place can change, but the smell of that place alone evoke lots of memories inside your head, who you been with, what you used to do. Like how the fresh smell of air-conditioning in the airport gives me a sense of timeless days, a sense of higher purpose without any meaning whatsoever. Like how the world feels more close-knitted and closer because everything is just a ticket away.

That being said, I wish there’s a kind of plane services where people can just pay to sit inside while the plane flies a certain distance but back to the original place in the end. Kind of an escape. An escape from everything temporary so that you can be clear-headed enough to decide what is what, which is which.
I like how life sometimes seem to just drift away, and you feel it slipping away from your hands. Like how it refuses to give any answers even when you ask, or talk to it. Today is one of those day when I wake up and the world seem extraordinary meaningless and quiet. Like those pictures in a storybook for kids, when the hills are green for a reason, just being plain round, and the sun seem to be orange. Like a child in a form of a quiet sleeping cloud, not answering, smiling only when you ask.

How many people have we actually met in our lives that make us stop for a moment and ponder on why we live in the way we do? Not many. How many people have we met in our lives that make us stop for a moment and ponder on why we live in the way they do? Many.

But once a while, you met somebody who makes you see life all over again, from top to bottom in a way you never thought you could.

The 3 days test shoot finally ended and I can say that there are many rooms for improvements, but still I believed in this group. Every decision we made is for the best of the group and at the end of the day is the final product that counts. I’m glad that we are starting to see our flaws and voicing out our views on certain things. Nevertheless, I have no regrets at all. Efficiency is the key.

I just like the kick and challenges that we faced when we are shooting, the tiredness you feel in your body. The dirty sweat dripping down, and the hot sun that burns your body and how your body is so tired that you feel like giving up but then it’s our mind that keeps us going and I like the challenge as it just makes me want to do more and prove that nothing can stop me. It’s only then that we will learn and strive even harder to make all these work together. I believe this is how valuable experiences are gain and how we handle challenges that are right in front of us.

I don’t know what will be ahead of us, but no matter what is it. Bring it on, I’m ready and so is our group.

It’s here, the last lap.

It’s now or never.

Emotions and mistakes goes well together because while you are at it, it feels so right to feel that way, even though everyone tells you otherwise. Now, I know its not right, but I still seem to think its right and can’t control it. My heart, my spirit and my soul tells me I’m right, that I have every right to feel that way, but my experience tells me it isn’t.

They say, pain is unnecessary. Its unexplainable and comes from within. But who are they to say? When its I’m the one who is feeling the pain? This feeling sucks, but I will be strong, I’m old enough so I should be. Unfortunately, the older you are, the more you know what pain is.

I made a bad mistake today, I thought it will be alright. I didn’t hoped for this outcome, I’m guilty for the mistake that I’ve done.

I’m sorry.

RIP.